I have never been known to do things by halves, and life always seems to come at me hard and fast.
I feel like I have been hibernating for a while. I would be lying if I said I was always actively working on myself the past year or two, because a lot of that time I felt mostly, and quite comfortably numb, like the blobfish on the ocean floor.
I remember complaining about it to anyone who would listen, including my fellow ICF coaches-in-training, because I was also restless. I felt like I was standing still, so when I made a list of the things I had actually done to my therapist, she started laughing at me. Because this is the list of what I have done since the year began:
- Finished an MBA with honours.
- Came to grips with being gifted and its implications on my working life.
- Weathered some huge storms, ones that I never thought could ever happen to me.
- Changed careers. Again.
- Changed fields of expertise. That’s a new one.
- Went on the holiday adventure of a lifetime.
- Took a course to be educated as a coach.
- Launched the Theta Initiative.
- Understood that there were elements in my past that were painful, but they also created the driven, ambitious woman I am today.
- Earned my third degree black belt in Taekwon-Do.
- Grappled with perimenopause.
- Hosted self defense workshops for ladies through my dojo.
- Will turn 50 shortly. Oh the humanity.
So no, ACTUALLY SHEBA, not quite standing still, to my absolute humble realization. All jokes aside, it became painfully clear to me that I have no idea what a “normal” pace of work, time of engagement, workload, etc really is. Apparently if I am not working myself into a burnout, I am not being productive.
What. Absolute. Bollocks.
My big challenge now quite obviously is setting boundaries, not with others, but also with myself. Honestly I am not even sure where to begin. In a coaching, I figured the order of this would be:
- Understand when boundaries are breached.
- Put the boundaries down.
My coach looked bewildered – “really? shouldn’t it be the other way around?”
….. Oh.
So yeah, as middle age vengefully hits me across the head, this is my next challenge.